Pass The Stakes: A Holiday Horror Story From The Twisted Realm Of Late-night Inspiration

The Winter Season of festivities and frantic and frightening shopping is upon us. Here’s my gift to start off the Holiday Season.

Pass the Stakes, It’s Thanksgiving
By A.L. Brown

Dinner was on the table.

The turkey was partially carved and my aunt was passing the dressing to her husband, Howie. He never eats the dressing. All those carbs will do him in, he says. I think that a pack a day and a case every weekend will do it first. Me and my cousin have a going bet. She’s a big fan of heart disease. Guess she got it wrong.

It looks like I did too.

I’ve never been much for making the table pretty and proper, but as I stared at it this time, I knew without out a doubt that it was all wrong. Everything was wrong except for the cranberry sauce.

Cranberry sauce is supposed to be red.